Wednesday my Nanny watched the boys while I took lunch and some snacks to a friend who's baby is at Childrens Hospital. I have never visited someone at a Childrens Hospital before. While walking down the hall and seeing room after room after room full with sick children as I passed I started thinking why do kids get sick or struggle health wise. Inside I just thought why God? I know the answer and trust in God but at that moment it was hard to see. It was real to me what goes on while I live my dailey life. I do not doubt or blame God He is in control. As I sat and held my friends baby as she ate lunch I just prayed over him. I also realized I am not thankful enough for my boys and how I selfishly take thier health forgranted. How I just went through a pretty normal pregnancy with some sickness and stuff but still pretty normal pregnancy and then had two csections that went successful and after a day or two got to take my big healthy babies home and besides ear infections and two minor surgeries not having to be in a hospital somewhere with my child looking at them with tubes and attached to medical equipment for days.
I choose to change living my day to day life not thinking about this anymore. I have already started the process to research small ways I can help in my own way.
I have been struggling lately with my limits of minstry and help with outreach. I love being a Mom but I also love helping in outreaches and events. On my drive to Dallas and around Dallas the past few days I have been able to work through these feelings. It would be too long of a post. I just think God is doing something in my life right now just like He is moving and changing lives in our church. I am happy my eyes are opened even more today.